Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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