she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
