Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
