are you still at the devil's house?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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