shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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