i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
even my farts smell like vagina
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
