If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
