normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
