brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
