What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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