Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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