Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
