I hope mine doesn't look like that
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize