I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Randomize
