i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
