So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
