I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
