This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
