I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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