but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
