just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
