god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
