I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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