so explain again why im purple
no
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
