I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
