Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Church boner. Awkwardddd
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize