I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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