I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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