Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
