One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
