Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
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It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
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It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize