This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
