what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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