let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You ate ashes out of my bong
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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