I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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