So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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