Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
