Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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