i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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