I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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