You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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