I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Never underestimate the power of titties
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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