do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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