So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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