Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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