I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
So much Jack, so little girl.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
