"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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