We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
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