wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
