i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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