even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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