the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
