I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
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Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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