??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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