we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize