he wants to bone in the snuggie
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
