just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
