I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
