I'd wear matching sweaters with you
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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